Cómo sabes que vives o viviste en la Ciudad de México (desde el punto de vista de un estadounidense).
Reorganizando las carpetas de mi correo electrónico, encontré en una de ellas un mensaje que me envió hace ya más de 5 años un tío que vive en California en los Estados Unidos. El correo le fue reenviado por un clásico ciudadano estadunidense. El contenido refiere a la manera en cómo los mexicanos vivimos el día a día en la caótica Ciudad de México, pero desde el punto de vista de un estadounidense; al parecer la persona que redactó orginalmente el texto, vivió por algún tiempo en nuestra metrópoli. Acá les dejo la lista en el idioma original para que no pierda sentido... Conste, que como México no hay dos.
You know you live or you've lived in Mexico City when...
- A wedding is at 8:00 pm, you get there at 10:00 pm and nobody has arrived yet. - You will often have lunch and dinner at the same restaurant on thesame day... without actually leaving.
- You believe a shot of tequila cures everything.
- You have more prescription drugs in your toiletry bag than Eckerd does and you don't have an actual prescription for a single one.- You bring along small cans of chiles when traveling to Europe.
- Leaving the office at 5:00 pm means working "half day".
- Returning to the office after "la comida" on Friday means you're "un pinche gato".
- You blame the traffic on the rich.
- You blame the crime on the poor. - You blame the PRI for almost everything else.
- You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.
- The word "Puente" means five day weekend.
- You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, Tabascosauce and still think it's the Orange Juice in the morning that gives you heartburn.
- "Licenciado" is a proper name.
- If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.- You use the word "este" as a conversational filter... in English.
- You say "Bueno" when answering a telephone... in English.
- You say "Mande" when someone calls you...in English.
- You keep on addressing good friends as barn yard animals. ("Buey" and "Cabron" are the animals most often employed).
- You refer to a salesman as "maistro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.
- You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealty.
- When someone tells you "I'll call you", you assume that he won't.
- You know "a ver cuando nos vemos" actually means "I really don't careif I don't see you anytime soon". - "Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you".
- You keep a 20 dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.
- If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.
- You call an 80 year old waiter "joven".
- You call a twenty year old waiter "viejo".
- You call everyone else, "hermano", "mano", or "manito".
- But you call your real brother, "pendejo".
- You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su señora madre", or " su querida madre", toavoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo".
- You assume women fall into three categories: virgins, whores or your mother.
- You assume your daughters are virgins because they get home before youdo at night.
- You profess, "como Mexico no hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico Citywas more like San Antonio, Texas.
- You think the next "Sexenio" and "The President" always willbe better.
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